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The Glenview Burger

My brother is a member of an elite paddle tennis club in the city of Chicago. Once a week he plays in matches that I try my best to attend. Not only am I a fan of the sport but I like watching and breaking down my brother’s efforts each week. The comradery that is offered by the members of his team when I show up is welcomed and appreciated. Above all else, however, I enjoy the free meal that is generally served at all the matches and, of course, the free beer.

Then we played Glenview. It was a travel game and we were the away team. I came in quiet and waited for the paddle action to start. The players took their place on the court for warmups and the ultra ritzy private clubhouse became all mine. I didn’t waste time; I posted up at the bar and ordered a Revolution IPA. Drinking goes hand in hand with paddle.

I had no plans to eat. The beer was free and the bartender was pouring. My tolerance was not what it used to be… plus, I was tipping back on an IPA (a bit extra alcohol in those ones). Time ensued and more Glenview members were showing up. One guy sat down next to me. He was a stranger interested in my story. I told him about my situation and we chatted and shared early pleasantries. I got a little too open ended and started speaking too much off the cuff. The gentleman was clearly turned off by the vibe I was showcasing. It was apparent that he initially wanted to help me out. I was working yet another dead end job and this guy took interest. I blew the job interview and knew it. They’ll be others. Thanks Revolution IPA.

Was I overserved? No, I was just getting started. The matches were just about through and more and more players were entering the clubhouse. I was wearing my Crystal Downs Staff sweatshirt; the very work sweatshirt given to me by the son of Dan-Oh, the guy whose truck I ‘stole’. I always wear all my work uniforms with pride… badges of honor.

Well, what do you know? One of the ritzy Glenview members just had to ask about my Crystal Downs sweatshirt I was repping. I corrected his rhetoric of such inquiry. It was not a Crystal Downs sweatshirt; it was, in fact, a Crystal Downs Staff sweatshirt. He scoffed. No bullshit. The guy originally enthused by the mere notion of rubbing elbows with someone who knew of this Alister MacKenzie course, found out that I was not, in fact, a member but actually a mere worker at the course, and he scoffed.

Here’s the thing about working at a place like Crystal Downs… the members treat the staff as one of their own. They might work at the course but as long as you take ownership of your work, then you own it, and are, therefore, just as much of a member as any member. This character immediately looked down on me when he found out I was just maintenance staff; and the rest of the Glenview members followed suit.

It quickly became drinking time. Better yet, it was officially burger time. I was drunk, but felt like I was being looked down on so it was time to put on a show. I asked the bartender for a burger. The Glenview crew, so eager to get to know me based on a sweatshirt, gave the nod to the bartender to cut me off. No burger; no more beer. I chugged the rest of my beer and lost it. Our team rolled out and rolled out quick. It was only gonna get uglier and my brother had to pull me away as I started calling the bartender the wrong name, which I blame on frustration.

We went to a nearby pub and I sat back and slammed a couple of double captain and cokes, ate my grilled cheese, and blasted Theo Epstein for single handedly destroying the Cubs organization. I would explain all the infinite reasons why, but that’s neither here nor there.

What I’m trying to point out is that it’s never a good idea to blast a person you barely even know. A lot of people with big wallets tend to get big heads. They think they’re something special and think that they get to call the shots and decide who is and who is not a ‘member’, or what have you. All anyone ever needs to worry about is that they keep their personal net worth one penny. It’s taken me thirty four years to realize that and make that my reality. But what you always have to remember is that if you talk shit on other people, you have to think, what does that person think of you? Everybody got opinions. F&CK GLENVIEW!!

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